– Reflections on Sex and Self-Awareness –
Lately, I’ve started to see sex in a different light.
Not just as an act of pleasure or intimacy, but as something deeper — a mirror reflecting how I relate to myself.
◆ Is Sex About My Pleasure or My Partner’s?
Most people view sex as a way to connect with someone else.
And I used to believe that too.
But at some point, a quiet question began to rise within me:
“Is sex about my own pleasure?
Or is it about giving pleasure to the other person?”
“Am I really feeling pleasure — or am I just pretending?”
This inner question stirred more deeply than I expected.
◆ True Pleasure Comes From Within
What I’ve come to realize is this:
True pleasure only happens inside yourself.
No matter how gentle or loving your partner is,
if your own body and heart aren’t truly open and receiving in that moment, it simply doesn’t become pleasure.
And this doesn’t mean being selfish.
It means being honest with your own feelings and sensations.
◆ Faking It Isn’t Kindness
I’ve faked pleasure before — maybe to avoid hurting someone, or to protect their pride.
Back then, I thought I was being kind.
Now, I see it differently.
Pretending to enjoy something isn’t kindness.
It’s a way of sacrificing your truth and giving the other person a false sense of connection.
Real kindness comes from honesty — from being willing to say what you feel and ask for what you need.
◆ Sex as Communication — But Pleasure as Personal
Sex is certainly a form of communication between people.
But pleasure is something that happens within the self.
That’s why the quality of sex doesn’t depend only on chemistry or technique —
but on how open, honest, and connected you are with yourself.
To truly connect with another person,
you have to be in touch with your own pleasure and desires first.
◆ Envying Those Who Seem So Natural…
There are people who seem to be so natural in expressing themselves.
They’re honest about what they feel, and connect deeply without fear or shame.
Honestly, I sometimes envy that kind of person.
But I’m also starting to realize:
They probably didn’t get there without their own struggles.
That kind of natural authenticity likely came from learning, hurting, reflecting — over time.
◆ Maybe This Is My Starting Point
I want to be more honest with myself.
More natural.
And I think this realization — that pleasure begins with me — is my starting point.
I want to stop performing for others.
I want to live, and love, with honesty and ease.
Even if sex is still a bit of a taboo topic, I believe there’s something deeply human and necessary in talking about it.
Because in exploring sex, we often discover what we really need to feel safe, seen, and alive.